Life changing lesson learned



You know I was raised by this motto "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." My upbringing was shaped around the belief that you should always smile, say positive things, never show your anger, sadness, frustration, etc. I started to become extremely guilty when I had any "negative" emotions. For years and years I pushed these feelings down deeper and deeper. I was not aware of this until one day at treatment. This challenge made the scales fall from my eyes: 

I was participating in an obstacle course at Remuda Ranch where I was in Eating Disorder treatment. It was a rope course where we were supposed to try and figure out how to complete the challenge. All the other patients had gotten through the course rather quickly, but I struggled and struggled for almost 3 hours without finding the solution. Finally I said "I can not figure it out, I need help." And then I was told that that was the solution. Asking for help. 

At debriefing time I was asked "Lissa, were you frustrated? Angry? Annoyed?" I replied "oh my word yes! I was so frustrated!!" I was then told "do you know that you never broke a smile? Never uttered a negative word? Kept on like you were having fun?" 

Here is what I took from that. It is ok to be upset, sad, angry. Those are healthy emotions. Don't repress them. Don't stuff them down. Don't be ashamed or guilty of them. Learn to express them in a healthy way.

6 comments

  1. Oh friend, such wise words of a very important lesson. Reading it made me just want to hug you. Lots of love!!

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    1. Thank you lori. You are so encouraging

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    2. Thank you lori. You are so encouraging

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    3. Thank you lori. You are so encouraging

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  3. I love you my dear friend! Your blog is going to be so fun, informative and just plain fun (oh, i said that already)! hee hee. Thanks for putting yourself out there so that others may benefit from your experience. Your are so strong and courageous! -Love, Julie Daniels :)

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