Change. Letting Go. Seasons. Pain. Freedom

I have VERY exciting news! I am in the process of creating a charity to help send girls and boys suffering from eating disorders to treatment.  I am not sure if I have shared that my 3 months of inpatient eating disorder treatment cost $150,000 out of pocket. Insurance would not cover 1 cent. Most people can not afford this. I am confident that had I not gotten the intense inpatient treatment I did I would not be alive today. talented and dear friend Hannah Craft Vermillion and I have been working together to design a logo that signifies eating disorders using a powerful word and the national eating disorder symbol. I plan to create t shirts, coffee mugs, etc. 100% of all proceeds  will go to a scholarship to help as many as possible afford treatment.  

This is my passion and my vision. 

Today's post is about change and letting go.

My favorite season of the entire year is Autumn. I love the October orange sunset, the beautiful gold harvest moons, the crisp air that remind me of so many happy memories, and all the gorgeous changing colors. (Although living in the Panhandle of Florida we are limited to colored leaves). Oh and really the best part hands down is the candy corn and the excitement about holiday Marshmellow Peeps!! However, Watching the Fall turn into Winter reminds us that letting go can be beautiful.  We can learn a lot from watching the seasons.  Letting go can be very difficult at times. Change can feel UNCOMFORTABLE , SCARY and ANXIOUS.

Think about things in your life that you need to let go of. What weighs you down? What are you carrying around DAILY that is a HEAVY BURDEN? For me it is the CONSTANT drive to be a perfectionistic being, which is driven by the desire to please everyone, to be ACCEPTED by everyone,  to be everyone's favorite, and to be LOVED. If I can let go of this then I know I'll live more freely. Remove the veil that blocks you from freeing yourself from experiencing true happiness and joy.

One thing I never realized was that not forgiving someone,  even if they don't want it or ask for it was a really heavy burden. It was affecting me more than that person. But I did not think I had the capacity to forgive them, so I started small. I began to pray for their well being... (not that they would be convicted of their wrongdoings or learn their lessons), but that they would find true happiness.  The fact of the ma\er was that carrying around the weight of unforgiveness was affecting me entirely more than them. Once I let that grudge go I felt a weight of freedom.  Letting go is a part of this change. Free yourself. 

Change is hard. Here are some quotes that have helped me

I am currently listening to Lindsey Stirling's Song of the caged bird to help ease the pain of change.

1 comment

  1. Lissa, your story is extraordinary. I hope you are able to achieve your goal of starting a charity! I can't imagine what my life would have been like if my insurance didn't cover my inpatient bill. I'm sure I wouldn't have gone into treatment. I don't want any human being to feel as if they can't afford recovery. The notion is disgusting and turns my insides. Everyone deserves help and to be saved. Your blog is inspiring, I'm starting to build up my recovery blog as well. If there is any way that I can help with the growth of your charity, please let me know.